God spoke some words into my heart a few days ago and I gasped. As I scribbled in my journal the words from above, my mind raced as it couldn’t comprehend the dreams heaven had for me. My brain had a lot of questions but my heart whispered, ‘This is a God-dream‘. As I finished writing and read the words again, I knew this was (as a sweet friend of mine recently quoted), ‘humanly impossible but a divinely possible dream’. I knew if I didn’t breathe out these dreams, I would constrict the life it should bring. So with caution in the air, I spoke out the words written on the pages of my now 2.5-year-old journal.
Something had begun.
My heart began to beat and I almost felt faint with the impact of the words I had spoken.
What was it about these God-sized dreams that cannot be contained within our hearts but yet we stop it from overflowing and spilling out as colours into this world?
Was I even supposed to know these thoughts that were higher and far greater than my own irrational worldly dreams? These dreams were a stark contrast to those small dreams that I wrote down a few days prior.
The spirit of God was nudging me into a new season.
I can feel the wind blow around me which such poignancy but a grace that is stronger shifting the flow to carry me on these troubled seas. I can see Jesus looking with tender eyes watching my every move. ‘Will you trust me once more?’, He asks. He has no judgement or anger in His voice. He isn’t frustrated with my pause as I lift my feet out of this boat once more. ‘God, this is scary‘, I think and He hears even that. This King who has my heart waits with patience as I learn to trust Him and dream His dreams. How can I ever fail this time? The chill of the cold water and the significance of this moment takes me by surprise as my feet touch the water. I see His smile and I know there is more to come.
He still waits as it starts dawning on me that I’m standing on water. I look at Him once more and as our eyes meet, I know He knows what I’m thinking – ‘How can I walk on water? I’m too scared.‘ He gives me a song, a word, a prayer, a sign and one step turns into two and then three. I look at him again and remember the words spoken to me by a friend, ‘You’re not just going to walk on water with Him, you’re going to dance..’.